Having a random hookup so left but love u
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
