I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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