Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He passed out mid-signature
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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