so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
