i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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