I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
