'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize