I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
