I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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