I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
