Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
