Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
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the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
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Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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