I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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