All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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