AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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