my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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