There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Shame - the story of my life.
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