I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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