So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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