So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
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He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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