I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
