3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Quick, to the slutcave!
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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