I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Someone signed my nipple.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
