just come out here and I will go home with you...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize