did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
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I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
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I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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