My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
