Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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