And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
