THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
