I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
