sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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