If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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