i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
