Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize