I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
