STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
