4 words: hood of his car
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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