Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
