I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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