just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
