Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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