Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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