told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
