my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
