There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
