garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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