She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
