You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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