I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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