The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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