he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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