Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
