Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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