I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
