You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
