My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
