That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
