she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
