She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My feet surprised me
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