My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
