What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
