Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
